Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Everclear isn't food dammit
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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