Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
