From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
