Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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