took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
