Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
