Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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