Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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