what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
