I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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