Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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