On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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