Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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