Cold hands, warm shart.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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