Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
