i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
