how can u be prego again
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize