I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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