I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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