yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
