I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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