I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
