If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
