i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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