Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
