So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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