Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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