Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
