Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
