YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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