Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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