Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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