One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
