tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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