They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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