just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
