Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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