i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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