I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
