i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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