the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
