Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize