i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
