it wasn't lemon gatorade
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
