i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize