I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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