Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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