Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
