Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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