I accidentally burped into my bong.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
