a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There are leaves in my underwear?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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