you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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