I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize