3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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