i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
