A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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