Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
