ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
